You are right. I was in a local group for a short time. Once I saw the way people communicated with each other, I wanted no further part of it, so I quit.
At the other end of the spectrum (with regard to the way people treat each other) is the local Buy Nothing group that I belong to. Like Nextdoor, these are also micro communities, in that towns that may be larger in geographic area have groups that are defined by neighborhood names.
[Note these groups are within the Facebook platform, so that is where you would have to go in order to find out if there is one in your area; in other words, you would have to be on Facebook if you want to participate.]
I have consistently found the kindest, most patient, and most generous people via my local Buy Nothing group.
While the main purpose of the group is to be able to give away items you no longer need, as a means of saving them from being put in the trash, it is also possible to request items or services, as well as offering (free) services and asking for recommendations of services.
I am the steward of a Little Free Library in front of my house. When my stock gets low, all I need to do is post a request for books on my BN group. Within a short time, the books start piling up, with bags and boxes of them following for weeks.