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We are what we say we are.
What are you?
Words have meanings. What we say about ourselves, and what we hear others say about us, has an effect on the way we see ourselves.
Think about the things we say about children in their presence: “She’s so pretty.” “He’s a handful.” “She’s wicked smart.” “He’s a leader.” Children hear these words and take them on as a means of defining themselves. If you frequently say that somebody is stupid, pretty, clever, brave, timid, athletic, or thoughtful, you can be sure that they are going to grow into the definition that you have given them.
Speaking for my own journey in life, I recognize that as I have aged and matured, I have shifted towards a greater sense of self-definition, as opposed to being dependent on seeing myself through the eyes of others. Since I was in my twenties, my focus has been more along the lines of Who do I want to be? and How am I moving myself towards being the way I want to be?, as opposed to being dependent on how others were percieving me.
I was a public school teacher for 34 years. About one-third of that time, towards the end, I taught first grade. When I told people that I was a first grade teacher, I could almost always count on the same reaction: “You must be very patient.”