I want to respect all people and treat them the way that they want to be treated. I am working on understanding this. Maybe you or another reader can explain something to me.

These pronouns are always in the third person. We generally use third-person pronouns when talking about somebody who is not present, or, if in the room, is out of earshot. When we talk directly to a person, we use the second person, always you in English.

So it seems like somebody’s wanting me to refer to them as him, her, or they, would be when they are not even present, and if you are not present, what difference does it make how somebody refers to you.

That makes me wonder about this statement from your writing:

“It can make my whole day better when I hear someone refer to me with they/them pronouns.”

Where would you be when a person is talking to somebody else about you, using they/them?