I remembering leveling with my kids when they were younger: It takes a lot of work to keep this family going. Everyone has to pitch in and everyone benefits from the work we do.

Then I talked about all the stuff that we parents did for everyone: shopping for food, cooking the food, maintaining the car so it can get us where we need to go, doing the laundry so everyone can wear clean clothes.

"That's what we do. What can you do to help the family?" In our case it came from the kids' telling us what they could do to help, and then we built it from there.

When they got older and school got tough, we used the terminology about jobs: We go to work; it's our job. Going to school is your job.

They got it. And, yes, they have grown up to be responsible adults, now 40 and 33 years old.