I enjoyed your story very much - especially all the San Francisco references, such as the old Copper Penny on Geary Blvd.

The above is the only local reference that makes no sense. If you get out of the Civic Center station and walk north on Hyde Street, by the time you get to Turk, you still have MANY blocks to go before you will be anywhere near Nob Hill: you are very definitely in the Tenderloin.